I just celebrated a year with my fiance.
And, honestly, I have learned so much this past year..... about myself & him, about my family and my friends, and just life in general.
There has been a lot of stuff that has happened between my fiance and I.. we've been faced with a whole lot of challenges. Behaviors that I never knew I had came out quite boldly.. things that I am not proud of... things that he has done that is not proud of.
I'm such an honest person. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with honesty of course.. but I tend to vomit my life up to others quite freely. A stranger may stand next to me in line for some Starbucks and I just begin my self-exposed story. Ok.. not really. But it might as well be that scenario.
Needless to say, the majority of my "friends" and my family now feel that I am wrong for being with my fiance. I respect their concern... but I just need their respect. Am I alone in this? Does everyone else get respect and I just got the short end of the stick? I'm not trying to be impossible here, I'm just sincerely curious.
I feel like I'm on edge constantly. I feel like I have to defend myself constantly. But all I really need to do is not care as much about other peoples' opinions and comments. I need to be like the guy in the photograph and just walk on my hands down the sidewalk as if to say, "Take that." :)
I feel the need to write because I'm honestly really fed-up with the way my family has treated me throughout this whole thing. I have an older brother and a younger sister. That's right, the middle child. "Well that explains a lot." Gee.. thanks. ;)
But I feel like I've had to try to prove myself throughout my entire life. I was never "good enough" to play with the boys like my sister, who used to be a tom-boy. I went to college and graduated only to find that it still wasn't enough to my parents (mainly my dad). I feel like I have accomplished a lot with my life so far. But.. then this whole thing happened with my fiance & I. At first, my family was happy for me... and then stuff happened and they began to show a huge lack of respect for me. They still treat me like I'm in high school. My older brother now has a girlfriend (who is seriously so great for him.. I'm really happy for them) - and my parents adore their relationship. It's makes me so sad.. and angry. They rub it in my face a lot.
My parents were going to be paying for our wedding and now they're not. And my dad went as far as telling me that my fiance is never welcomed in our house. It's really just ridiculous.
On top of all of this, I have my supervisor at work giving me the hardest time about things. It's almost to the point of harrassment. Ok, it is harrassment. I mean, I came in one day and he asked what the ring was doing on my finger.
I guess I just need to get this off my chest. I'm old enough to make my own adult decisions. And I've been making good decisions for the past 10 years or so.
I just want people to respect me. Period.
Is that asking too much?!
2 comments:
Hey, this is Chad (P-fro)'s wife, Carrie here. Stumbled across your blog and wanted to let you know, I can relate with some of what you're going through. No one, not my friends or family, were happy when Chad and I got married. My best friend even told me she would not be one of my bridesmaids. But, we got married anyway, because we knew that we loved each other and we were meant to be together. 9 years later, here we are, still going strong and still in love. Sometimes you just have to do what you guys know is right, and trust that God will take care of the rest. He's one person who you can trust is not mad at you and still loves you no matter what you do!
(By the way, my friend apologized 2 years after the wedding for what she did to me. She told me she's always regretted not being in my wedding.)
Carrie... thank so much for this comment (if you see my comment back, this will work & if not, I'm just taking up some space of the vast online world). :) I appreciate that..... a whole lot. You really encouraged me. :)
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