I feel like there are so many times (too numerous to keep track of) that I realize something that I remember realizing weeks ago, months ago, even years ago.
Today was one of those times.
I was in church service just really enjoying the worship and what God was doing in that time, when it dawned on me..
I have wanted, for the longest time it would seem, to have the right guy in my life (for my future spouse). It seems like I've had to 'wait' for a long time.. so I would think that I would be able to really appreciate this man (whoever he is) when I was found by him. BUT... after going through what I've gone through this past year with the rough relationship and calling off the engagement to a guy who treated me quite poorly... I truly feel as though I will be able to appreciate it even that much MORE.
Sometimes we go through things - whether self-imposed or whatnot - that we do not understand at the time... but God has a divine plan in everything.
I'm honestly at this amazing place in my life now. I'm learning to truly forgive myself for getting involved in something so far from God's best for my life in the area of relationships. I'm gaining a new respect for my parents who are two very amazing and special people to me. I am growing deeper spiritually than I have in a very long time.. it's refreshing and very strong. God is showing His love to me in ways I need.. I've had so many great times in reflection lately.. and I love it. :) I honestly am back to being me... and I haven't felt like this in over a year, I'd say. I'm laughing and truly just enjoying life. I feel so lucky.
So, I'm determined to let God have His way in this area. I will not settle for anything less than what He has for me.. because I've seen what that is like, and it's not pretty. At all.
And I really will be able to appreciate it in an even deeper level than I could have before all this heartache.
