Grace pays the bill.

I want to jot down some truths about grace here.

I've been re-reading "Velvet Elvis" (for the third time).

And I'm getting a lot out of it.

Perhaps it's because I'm looking for it... and I know that there are profound truths that I need to truly be reminded of - or even exposed to.

I wanted to share a bit of chapter six here.

".. God makes us in His image. We reflect beauty and creativity and wonder of the God who made us. And Jesus calls us to return to our true selves. The pure, whole people God originally intended us to be, before we veered off course.

Somewhere in you is the you whom you were made to be.

We need you to be you.

We don't need a second anyone. We need the first you.

The problem is that the image of God is deeply scarred in each of us, and we lose trust in God's version of our story. It seems too good to be true. And so we go searching for identity. We achieve and we push and we perform and we shop and we work out and we accomplish great things, longing to repair the image. Longing to find an identity that feels right.

Longing to be comfortable in our own skin.

But the thing we are searching for is not somewhere else. It is right here. And we can only find it when we give up the search, when we surrender, when we trust. Trust that God is already putting us back together.

Trust that through dying to the old, the new can give birth.

Trust that Jesus can repair the scarred and broken image.

It is trusting that I am loved. That I always have been. That I always will be. I don't have to do anything. I don't have to prove anything or achieve anything or accomplish one more thing. That exactly as I am, I am totally accepted, forgiven, and there is nothing I could ever do to lose this acceptance.

... We need you to embrace your true identity, who you are in Christ, letting this new awareness transform your life (p. 150, 151). "

Rob Bell then shares about an experience at a restaurant. He was having breakfast with his son and father.. and their meal ended up getting paid for by someone else.

The profound depth to this analogy really hit home with me.

He says that he felt helpless.. and that to insist on paying would be pointless. Accepting that what the waitress said was true meant to either live like it was true or create his own reality in which the bill wasn't paid. The chapter ends with this: To trust that grace pays the bill.

I'm learning to truly walk in the freedom that has already been bought for me through the cross. All victory is mine through Christ. All authority is mine in Christ. I'm learning that it truly is only by grace that I am saved. With all my faults, He loves me still. He is doing a good work in me, if I allow that work to be done.

The things of God are really what matter.

I'm not saying to be out of touch with life here.. "being a Christian is not cutting yourself off from real life; it is entering into it more fully (p. 91)." If I am truly keeping my heart soft to God and truly seeking Him, I will hear His voice. And He is always speaking. Somehow. Through so many things. At so many times.

"Do you really think God's voice is more interesting than the voices that surround you?"

- Rob Bell

Life lessons.

I've been taking lots of notes lately.

On life.

On books I'm reading.

Notes about life.

I am reading "Velvet Elvis" (for the third time..) with a friend of mine.

I feel like I am getting so much out of that book.

My favorite reading has been Chapter 3.. and I'm just reminded of truth.

I love truth.

It excites me.. to the very core of who I am.

I'm a christian because it is true reality.. I've invested time and research.. (let alone personal experience) and know that, as Rob Bell reminds us in that book, "being a christian is to claim truth wherever you find it" (p. 81).

***

Here are some life lessons as of lately:

1. I'm being reminded that each passing moment we only get once. Here. Now.
   *Make each moment count.
   Live life as you want today.. living life to the FULLEST.. because we will NOT get these opportunities again.
   --> Don't let the enemy get a foothold. We only get ONE life.
2. God truly does work all things together for our good (Rom. 8:28).
   - Every trial is for strengthening our character
   - Every wrong decision God can use to show us why HE needs to direct our lives & what it is like to not live under His blessing.
3. Do not hold grudges.
   Forgive & forget.
   If we don't, we do not truly show God's love & we let our hearts become hard & bitter.

I'm at a really good place in my life right now.

.. and I couldn't be happier. :)

It's True.

I've always been inspired by music..

and photos (like the one here).

This is a song that I just want to share,

by a great group, Nevertheless.

*Enjoy*

Tell me whose right
Whose wrong
It sounds like the same old song
But if it's compromise they want
Then I don't belong

We paint you in pictures well
We praise you and live like we don't
If you'd ask do we love you still
Sometimes I can't tell

It's true,
I still believe in you
We've made it hard to see
The light shining through
The things we do

Holy and beautiful
Your grace is unstoppable
It's bigger than what we've done
Or how we feel

It's true,
I still believe in you
We've made it hard to see
The light shining through
The things we do

Underneath my skin,
In a place where no one goes
There is still a fire,
Burning in my soul
The world is such a mess,
But somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there is hope
You are still my hope

It's true,
I still believe in you
We've made it hard to see
The light shining through
The things we do

I still believe in you,
I still believe in you,
I still believe in you,
I still believe in

What the devil intended for evil, God turns around for good.

I feel like there are so many times (too numerous to keep track of) that I realize something that I remember realizing weeks ago, months ago, even years ago.

Today was one of those times.

I was in church service just really enjoying the worship and what God was doing in that time, when it dawned on me..

I have wanted, for the longest time it would seem, to have the right guy in my life (for my future spouse). It seems like I've had to 'wait' for a long time.. so I would think that I would be able to really appreciate this man (whoever he is) when I was found by him. BUT... after going through what I've gone through this past year with the rough relationship and calling off the engagement to a guy who treated me quite poorly... I truly feel as though I will be able to appreciate it even that much MORE.

Sometimes we go through things - whether self-imposed or whatnot - that we do not understand at the time... but God has a divine plan in everything.

I'm honestly at this amazing place in my life now. I'm learning to truly forgive myself for getting involved in something so far from God's best for my life in the area of relationships. I'm gaining a new respect for my parents who are two very amazing and special people to me. I am growing deeper spiritually than I have in a very long time.. it's refreshing and very strong. God is showing His love to me in ways I need.. I've had so many great times in reflection lately.. and I love it. :) I honestly am back to being me... and I haven't felt like this in over a year, I'd say. I'm laughing and truly just enjoying life. I feel so lucky.

So, I'm determined to let God have His way in this area. I will not settle for anything less than what He has for me.. because I've seen what that is like, and it's not pretty. At all.

And I really will be able to appreciate it in an even deeper level than I could have before all this heartache.

God satisfies.

"Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."

- Ps. 81:10

-----

God satisfies.

I know that people say only God can truly satisfy.
But I think I'm finally grasping the depth of this truth.

All of God for all of us.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness.." - 2 Pet. 1:13

".. asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding." - Col. 1:9

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." - 2 Thess. 3:5

".. never tire of doing what is right." - 2 Thess. 3:13

-----

People will let us down.. because we, as humans, come up short at times.
It's not that people intentionally plan to do this, but sometimes, it happens.. because they are not God - who is the only One who can truly meet all our needs all the time.
Even spouses will let the other down.. which is why it is important to understand grace with each other.. and to look to God for fulfillment.

-----

God is always wanting to fill us with greater truth - but it is up to us to receive it.

Trust... or the lack there of

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6

I went to Six Flags this weekend with my friend Sarah from ISU & her twin sister. We had a lot of fun. :) On the way up, I was reflecting on life and how I've allowed certain things to happen and such.. and I remembered this verse.

I know this verse very well.. but while I was driving I realized that this is the source for a lot of where I've tripped along the path. I know that I have an issue with trust.. but it really stems back to the lack of trust I have that God is in control and that He will guide my every step as I delight myself in Him. I know that I've realized this before and wondered why I would ever doubt the Maker of all things.. but it's just good to realize it again, I guess.

I have so much ahead of me, which make me excited. I look back on some decisions I have made and I know that I have made mistakes. So, instead of wallowing in the mistakes, I'm going to just keep my eyes focused on the future and really focus and practice on trusting God.

Because.. really.. that's the key to life.

Chapter 26 begins now..

At the ripe age of 26, I begin a new chapter in my life.

I was just engaged but called things off, just this past weekend.

I realized that I need to be treated better and that I deserve so much better than what I was with.

I honestly know in my heart that it is the right thing to do. I have been so much happier since, too.

The small things in life make me smile again.

I feel relieved and lucky to have been given another chance at this.