Give.

I think the secret to a successful relationship really boils down to this word. It's a verb.. which means you have to do something.

As we allow ourselves to see the things that we need to tweak, we give back to our "significant other." We, in fact, are saying, "hey, I know that I need to do this.. and even though it's hard, I will do it."

I need to give more.

I see the areas I need to change and where I need to grow - and instead of only realizing it, I need to act on that.

Keep On Keeping On.

Ready.

Set.

Jump.

Life is a funny thing.

Recently there have been a few things that have happened that have shown the humanity of things to me.

My dad was in the hospital a couple weeks ago because he thought he was possibly having symptoms of a heart-attack. Come to find out, he just needed to be taking his blood pressure medication. My mom's friend was given life-changing news about her pregnancy and ended up giving birth the next day in the hospital to her 14 week old baby (still-born).

Sometimes life seems to just race past you. You blink and it seems you've over-looked an entire year. Eternity is something I have come to realize I really have no understanding of. I remember learning as a little girl about either living eternally in heaven or in hell. Whenever I let my mind wander to thinking of that definition, I just lose myself for a moment. We really have no true concept of what that means. Everything on earth as we know it is so defined that things beyond this world (the spiritual realm) is not something that all of us can have a clear grasp on. But, whether we like it or not, we each choose to give God a chance or to just say, "hey, maybe later huh?" Life is pretty amazing to me. I'm glad that I've had the opportunity to be exposed to all aspects - the radically spiritual and the apathetic response to the knock on the heart's door. I've chosen for myself. And we all choose. I'm going to keep on keeping on, that's for sure.

To acknowledge my last post, I appreciate Carrie's comment. I don't even know who reads this or who knows about this.. but that was pretty nice to come to. :)
Things are better in that arena. I am still a bit annoyed about some things, but some things are clearing up. So things are on the up and up. Thankfully.

Revelations..

I just celebrated a year with my fiance.

And, honestly, I have learned so much this past year..... about myself & him, about my family and my friends, and just life in general.

There has been a lot of stuff that has happened between my fiance and I.. we've been faced with a whole lot of challenges. Behaviors that I never knew I had came out quite boldly.. things that I am not proud of... things that he has done that is not proud of.

I'm such an honest person. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with honesty of course.. but I tend to vomit my life up to others quite freely. A stranger may stand next to me in line for some Starbucks and I just begin my self-exposed story. Ok.. not really. But it might as well be that scenario.

Needless to say, the majority of my "friends" and my family now feel that I am wrong for being with my fiance. I respect their concern... but I just need their respect. Am I alone in this? Does everyone else get respect and I just got the short end of the stick? I'm not trying to be impossible here, I'm just sincerely curious.

I feel like I'm on edge constantly. I feel like I have to defend myself constantly. But all I really need to do is not care as much about other peoples' opinions and comments. I need to be like the guy in the photograph and just walk on my hands down the sidewalk as if to say, "Take that." :)

I feel the need to write because I'm honestly really fed-up with the way my family has treated me throughout this whole thing. I have an older brother and a younger sister. That's right, the middle child. "Well that explains a lot." Gee.. thanks. ;)

But I feel like I've had to try to prove myself throughout my entire life. I was never "good enough" to play with the boys like my sister, who used to be a tom-boy. I went to college and graduated only to find that it still wasn't enough to my parents (mainly my dad). I feel like I have accomplished a lot with my life so far. But.. then this whole thing happened with my fiance & I. At first, my family was happy for me... and then stuff happened and they began to show a huge lack of respect for me. They still treat me like I'm in high school. My older brother now has a girlfriend (who is seriously so great for him.. I'm really happy for them) - and my parents adore their relationship. It's makes me so sad.. and angry. They rub it in my face a lot.

My parents were going to be paying for our wedding and now they're not. And my dad went as far as telling me that my fiance is never welcomed in our house. It's really just ridiculous.

On top of all of this, I have my supervisor at work giving me the hardest time about things. It's almost to the point of harrassment. Ok, it is harrassment. I mean, I came in one day and he asked what the ring was doing on my finger.

I guess I just need to get this off my chest. I'm old enough to make my own adult decisions. And I've been making good decisions for the past 10 years or so.

I just want people to respect me. Period.

Is that asking too much?!